My Kiddos

Well, as most people know, my two oldest kiddos are out of town at the moment. They are spending the summer with their Bio Dad in Alabama. This is their third year in a row so I'm not so worried about them but I do miss them so. They left June 7th and I have yet to talk to them since they been there. You see, both him and his new wife work odd hours. I assume they mean mostly nights as every time I text them, they are working the night shift at their jobs. So it doesn't leave much time for my youngest kiddo and I to talk to them because I work normal day time hours Monday through Friday while my daughter is in child care with a friend of mine. 

See, normally this wouldn't bother me so much as I know that 10 months out of the year I am with all three of my babies and never have any "me time" like the doctor suggests and that during that time they do not ever talk to their Bio Dad. The difference is, I love my kids and miss them and make time to talk to them while they are gone but due to lack of communication from their Bio Dad, it just never happens no matter when I am available. This really bothers me as does the fact that his step daughter who is like early teens, is the one watching my children each night. I only know this because they can't afford child care like I can and he refuses to tell me who is watching them meaning he thinks I will have a problem with it. And it's not so much that I have a problem with it as that I have a problem with him not telling me. In all reality though, my kiddos should not be left with another child and all. Now I know why they come back acting way worse. Their supervision is older children who basically get to do what they want and talk crap and teach my children bad things. Ok maybe, I'm being a little harsh. But my kids are very impressionable and come back with more behavior problems each year. It honestly makes me not want to take them because of the things I hear but what can  I do. He has his rights. And come this time next year they will be begging to go again and I will need a break to get us back on track financially as I do every year and it will happen all over again. Kind of makes me feel like a bad mother but in all reality I'm just following the rules and I need a moment that I never get. And how can I not let my kids see their Bio Dad if he actually wants to see them. I mean ever since he left he didn't act like he had any interest until my son was 3 and my daughter was 5. Before that he never even met my son. 

I'm just your typical mom worrying about her kids to be honest. I mean I think of all the things that could go wrong with another child watching a child and the fact that the particular people watching them are a little on the ill behaved side. And not only that but two are teenage boys. My kids don't even have a way to call me if they need me. That's what I'm really concerned about. I don't know. Maybe I'm just overreacting because I'm a mom and I love and miss my kids.

Until next time!

~Amanda Kay