Random Poem

"I'm in love with;
Your eyes and eyebrows.
That glint in your eye.
Your face and facial features.
Your smell.
The way it feels when we hold hands.
Your nails.
The hair on your arms.
Every inch of your body and how it feels with mine.
Your kisses.
Your hugs.
Your laughs.
The way you can read my facial expressions,
Or tone in my voice.
The way you make me feel.
Us.
The time we spend together,
Though it seems it's never enough.
You.
You.
You.
Just you."

~Author Unknown

Random Ramblings

So I'm talking with this girl at work today. She happens to be a very great friend. Well she's dating this guy at work and well she's the type of girl that understands that men are going to look and flirt and whatever. And she's made this very clear with him but it's like he just doesn't get it because he does things behind her back. It's like as soon as she's gone, he's being real flirty with other girls. She finds out and confronts him and he doesn't see what he did wrong. So here it is, he hid it from her. He never once will look at a girl and check her out or flirt in front of her (which is where it's ok) but he waits till she is gone to do it. And it's not even the fact that she's gone when he does it that matters. It's the fact that he only does it when she's gone and then lies about it. And then get this, he deletes his female friends from his phone and Facebook. But only the ones that he was only friends with, not the girls he went all the way with. How is that normal? How is that ok? And then we have this other guy at work who is married. He says he's separated but he's not and yet he is flirting with all these other females wanting to do things with them. I mean seriously! Is there not a single faithful man left out there? Just saying. They are very hard to find and so many do wrong that it's hard to even trust and give anyone a chance. 

~Amanda Kay

Bandit - An Unexpected Surprise

Just when I thought that I was going to be fine about the death of my cats. I came home to a big surprise. You see, my youngest her solution was to get new kitties and so we did because she did not understand. Well after having them a few weeks and having taken them to the vet for shots and health checks, I come home one day and in the mailbox is a package from the vet. I'm wondering what the heck it could be as I wasn't expecting anything. And once I started opening it and seen what it was I started to cry because what they had done was imprinted my cats paws and sent it to me with a card. I've never known a vet to do such things but it just shows that they care not only about the animals but also about the families.



Needless to say, it's the sweetest thing ever.

~Amanda Kay

What a Day!

So today started off normal and I even got up in time to actually do my hair for once. Has been some time since I have been able. Well then I realize that I need to stop and get gas and well ZayLie just isn't wanting to wake up. So we stop for gas and as always I roll her window down so that she's not just sitting in a hot truck. Well once we are done and getting in the truck to leave, I go to roll up the windoq and it just won't roll up. Seriously why does this happen to me?

So I'm forced to drive to work with the window down. My poor baby girl with the hot air blowing in her face. And after dropping her off of course I have to leave my truck with the window down which is stressful all day and makes it hard to concentrate. I called a mobile window repair guy and he said he could come out at noon and would search for the part on the way. He never called back and never came. Finally I realized I should call my mom for help like I normally do because I can't just sit here calling all day. She finally found one and I got the part on order for her to pick up and they have a return policy. Of course they fail to mention when I tell them she is on her way thet they close in a few so by the time she gets there which by the way she couldn't find it even though he says you have to be blind to miss it. Ans so no part.  Meanwhile I have to keep driving around in the heat all irritated about it. I even took my new fur babies to the vet for first shots and all. Then finally Chris shows up and can help wedge it out of the door. So now it's definitely off track and needs the new parts and is being held closed with duct tape. But hey having it up is better than down. Still stressful and all that but it's a start.  And now I'm exhausted and ready for bed. Let's hope the weekend comes quick. Two more days. Yay.

Until next time...

~Amanda Kay

Work, Writing and Life

Well today July 3, 2013 is officially a year since I started with this company. Granted 6 months of that was as a temp and 6 as a permanent employee but it's a great thing all the same. It's crazy how life can change and how everything happens. When I started this job I had just got let go from my first and only temp assignment I had ever had. I was with the company for a year with like a week in between the two assignments. The first assignment I didn't get but I understand why. I had more experience meaning more pay. But I needed a job and they never asked what I would take for pay. And they lied to me in the end but oh well. I moved to a new department and started a new assignment which like every job I've ever done, I picked up quick and was doing great. But then my youngest daughter got sick (chicken pox of the mouth) and I had to pick her up because she refused to eat and had fever. I put it off all week and just couldn't wait any more. They called right after I left saying my assignment was over. Lucky for me I don't waste time and I had paperwork done for a new agency that night because the one I was with just didn't have a lot of work at the time. That same Friday, I got a call and did an interview. Following Monday I started a new assignment with my new job under the impression that it would only last a week but I was willing to stay because I needed a job. I have three kids to support. Well that job just kept going until I got hired at the 6 month mark. I started off the new year with a new last name (went back to my maiden name finally) and a new permanent job.  I love what I do and give it my all and today has been a full year since then. 

Before that, I always felt like I was just stuck in this hole. It's like no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did or how great I was, I was just stuck in this very hard place barely able to support my family. But I never let that hold me back. I'm a goal setter, hard worker and quick learner. This job I have now, they actually appreciate my hard work. It's awesome with awesome people. 

Since working this job and getting my life straightened I really don't have as much time to write. I wish for it. I miss it. I truly enjoy it but there is just so many more things that are more important that need to be done. Occasionally like now, I make myself take a moment to express myself. But because I don't have the time for it, I've become the worst penpal ever. Like seriously. I even lost a great one because of being unable to find the time to write. But sometimes that's what happens. 

Aside from all this, I am for the most part happy. I try to always stay positive and move forward and teach my children not to give up on their dreams and don't be afraid to try or make mistakes, just learn from them and move forward.

On another note, I really miss my babies. It's been a whole month. It's not like I have to sit there and talk to them a long time when they call. It's just to hear their voice and let them know I'm still here and we still love them and we miss them. But I am starting to get the impression that they won't let my babies call me. It's like they have to be there for it to happen. They haven't even posted any pictures of them since they've been gone and normally they post a lot. I know it's just me being overprotective and worried because I'm their mom and they are my babies. But all the same. I love them and miss them as does their sister.

Until Next Time...

~Amanda Kay

People and Me (In General)

You know, I've always been the type of person who really didn't care what people thought of me. I mean I cared a little but not when it came to people not liking what I wear or how I act or the things I liked. My thoughts were, every person is unique. We all like different things and those different things influence us in many ways including our style of clothing. But I guarantee you I would never judge others though I was judged often. I had a few good friends and that's all I needed. I didn't need to be liked by a bunch of people. 

I can't say this opinion or way of thinking has changed. I still love people, I am still the very honest and dependable person always building bonds with others. And those same bonds always mean more to me then the other person as they always have. But now, with the absence of my very close friends, and with the let down I have received so often, I do care just a little more of what people think of me. But more in a sense that I want to fit in somewhat but yet still be my unique self. I want to have nice clothes and do all the things I never could afford before and in some ways I want to be liked by others. I want to find friends who will be there for me the way I will be there for them. 

You see, in this day and age, it's just so hard to trust anyone with anything. Sure, you can trust me. You can tell me your deepest darkest secret and I'm not going to tell a soul. It's just how I am. But I also love to know so I may ask questions a little bluntly. I am who I am. I like to know everything and I love to learn. Our brains are meant to be used ya know. But anyways, I don't feel like I've ever had someone I could really trust in that way. No one who would ever go out of their way for me and because of this I think I've grown tired of always going out of my way for some people. Even those closest to me. You see, I used to make time for those people most important to me. All my friends, if they needed, I'd be there. But no one has ever been there for me like that and so I just don't make the time for anyone anymore. Kind of makes me feel like if someone really wants my attention they better work for it and prove themselves because I'm tired of being everything while everyone else turns away when I need the slightest little thing. Yes that sounds kind of stupid but it's what happens when others actions start to make you bitter inside. Maybe I'm wrong for that but at least I admit to it. I mean I am an honest person and I'm not going to sit here and give you some bunch of bologna. But it is what it is. 

Until next time...

~Amanda Kay