Books Books and More Books

So I've been getting back into my reading. I'd love to get back into my writing some more too but hey, one thing at a time. I'm a busy person you know. I live a very busy life taking care of three very rambunctious kiddos who right now happen to be all three sick. But the reason I am here tonight is to share a link to an awesome giveaway for a book that I am so ready to read. And guess what! The Author is giving away a signed copy and you have the change to win. So by all means check it out because you know you wouldn't want to miss your opportunity!

Sign up here: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/share-code/ODJlMmZkN2E1MTJhNDQwNWU0YmYzNDMxNTI5M2FjOjE1OA==/

~Amanda Kay

My Self

I know everyone has issue with their bodies and the way they look. I'm no different, but let me say this. I can deal with my legs and how I think they are too big, I can deal with my butt that I feel is flat and ugly but still so big and I can even deal with the fact that I hate my breasts and feel they could really use plastic surgery but my belly. That is one thing I just cannot accept.  What I see with clothes on appears like I'm pregnant when I'm not. My clothes don't fit. And without clothes I feel like a blob. This is what really gets me. How do I fix such a thing when I try and try and never succeed in this area. I won't even begin to mention the other issue with this. But I will not give up!

~Amanda Kay

Life...And Stuff

Well I can't say that things aren't coming along quite nicely. I mean I get by. I just feel like I overwhelm myself with the amount of things  I do. I have tons of pictures waiting to be uploaded so they can eventually be printed and placed into books. I have tons already printed and ready to be placed in books. I have a huge playlist of songs to still download only to later convert them to itunes so I can put them on my ipod. The problem is the time it takes to do them. Honestly, sometimes, I'd rather crawl into a good book. Which by the way my library is growing very fast. Faster than I can keep up. But the reason behind that is lately I just feel like being lazy. You see, I'm always on the go with things to do. But me rushing and stressing does not get them done any sooner. It just stresses me out more. My least favorite thing to do is pay the bills. Doing that reminds me how broke I am. Now, like I said I get by, but I don't have anything extra and somethings have to be cut back on. I don't know many people who could go without eating meat like I do. Of course I'm not a big meat fan in general but meat is the most expensive food when grocery shopping so I opt out of buying it. Anyways, life is treating us decent. I know God has plans for us and is guiding us in the right direction and honestly that is the most important thing to remember. So when like gets you down on one knee, take that moment to pray to our Heavenly Father who art in Heaven. And don't forget to do so on other occasions sometimes too.

~Amanda

Fairy tale Romance and ALL THAT GOOD STUFF

So, Everyone (ok really just a lo of women) dream about having that fairy tale romance at some point in life. But is that really what they want? You see we grow up reading books and watching movies that have that happy ever after ending and the relationship portrayed is completely unreal to the real world. Now don't get me wrong, people can really be that way but the odds of meeting someone who is like that is slim. 

But anyhow, what's the real deal behind these things we see that cause us to want? Well here's the thing, usually the fairy tale romance is pretty cheesy and fake. But the want, lust, desire, the passion and all the heat that is created between the two, that is very much real. That is what people really wish to find, not the whole fairy tale romance. Just the pure desire of another. And don't get me wrong, this can be had BUT, a lot of people are so concerned with themselves in the world today that they don't take the time to care about the one they are with which means no desire, no lust, no real want and in the end no real happiness. 

Just a little two cents on the matter.

~Amanda

Dental, CPS and Life in General

So, I've got a number of dental issues. The damage of years without cleanings because without dental insurance you can't afford these things and well, dental insurance isn't available outside of a job. So now that I have dental insurance I've been trying to get my teeth all cleaned up and taken care of. Well yesterday I had a root canal. The procedure was going ok aside from the fact that this dentist has big hands and it's in the back of my mouth and he just can't get his hands into my mouth without me having to spread my mouth so far open it hurts. Well just when they were almost done, of all things to happen, the instrument broke off inside my tooth. So of course he closed up the tooth and told me what happened and where I would be going. The only thing is he told me they would have a special instrument to remove the item which was wrong. Not that he knew or didn't know this. He didn't charge me for the procedure but I also didn't get the credit I had on my account applied to it. And where  I went to, they charge twice as much plus they wanted to charge me to remove something they weren't removing. In the end, they took that charge off and let me pay the total in two payments one being as far out as a Month and a half. But they didn't seal off the whole aside from yet another temporary filling and they shaved off more of my tooth making it very sharp. Which by the way is very uncomfortable. And I have to go another three weeks eating soft foods I can practically swallow whole. So frustrated with this. 

On another note, I also found out I will not be getting the kids. It's a bunch of BS to give the kids back to a family member who sat there and watched a 6 year old grab a knife, put it to his throat and say that he hated his life and the way they dealt with it was to turn around and drop the kids at CPS. Yet they want to get permanent custody of the children. Not to mention they are supposed to allow other family to visit the children but they wont. My children and I would like to see them. It's been over a year and my children ask about them all the time. Supposedly the Foster Parent was going to call but she didn't even do that. It's so sad how things work out but all I can do is continue to pray about it and leave it is Gods hands to take care of.

~Amanda Kay

The Government, Child Support, Medicaid and Single Moms

So, Child Support is supposed to be for the kids right. And Medicaid is supposed to ensure kids are healthy and have health insurance available. Single Moms need these things more than whole families and these things are provided by the Government. So tell me why if you are a complete family, man, woman and children, you never have to pay these services back but yet if you are a single mom getting child support, that's the first place your money goes? What I'm seeing is that Single Moms have to first pay the Government back for the Medicaid they have for their children. But yet whole families never pay back a dime. Single Moms work hard to provide for their children and must receive child support in order to get any help from most Fathers. Yet the money doesn't even go to them. So being in my shoes, I no longer need Medicaid as I now have private health insurance and so I let my Medicaid go. In doing this I was informed that once the OAG received the letter from Medicaid that our coverage had ended that the $300 they take out each month to pay the Government would come to me to pay for the Health Insurance I have on my children that doesn't prevent me from taking my children to their doctor like the Medicaid does. Well I let it go and sent in copies of my Insurance Cards to the OAG and everything as I was instructed. But now today they tell me they never received anything and that my children now have Chip Medicaid. I never applied for Chip Medicaid. I never renewed my Medicaid and received Cancellation Letters. I also never turned in any paperwork for income that they would have requested from me. Nor do I want the Medicaid as my children cannot see their doctor with it. So now I have to figure out how to cancel this. Then I have to take the time to set up a Change Order for the Child Support to remove the Government from taking $300 a month for Medicaid I do not have, need or want. And instead have it sent to me to pay for their insurance. In order to do any of this, I have to take off from work and do tons more paperwork and instead of making money to support my children, spend my time fixing the mistakes of the Government. I don't know who came up with the rules for this but they sure have a great deal of stupidity if you ask me and all the other Single Moms paying the Government so that they can receive Child Support and Medical Support for their children. And because of it I now have a big mess to fix. You got to love the troubles that find their way to me. Troubles I don't have time to deal with but will figure out.

~Amanda Kay

Life

So it's that time where I decide to call and visit my cousins kids. Only when I call the lady refuses to allow me to see them. So I again reach out to CPS just to find out they were trying to contact me to see if I wanted custody of the children. I tried before but because both mom and dad put their aunt on the list and they had had them previously for short term, they automatically went to them. I think about it and I stress because it's a lot to take on three more kids when you are finally getting somewhere with your life and providing for your children. But I could never turn my back on children. Especially when a child has expressed to you himself at 5 years old that he wants to live with you. This child is now 6 and has told CPS that he doesn't feel loved where he is at. I think to not feel loved as a child is worse than any punishment that could be given. Not to mention he has two younger siblings that can't express how they feel. It's just sad I tell ya. So I'm going through the background check. I know I pass but I don't  know if Chris does. Either way I'm prepared for if they come. All I need is child care. Those children will be so much happier here. I always wanted to do foster care one day. Just didn't think I'd be doing something similar so soon while my children are still so young. I'll literally have a 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 year old in my home. That's 6 kids. 3 boys and 3 girls. I'm already in the system so it's pretty easy to get me in. It's a lot to take in. Lots of big changes. But the kids will be so happy and I can stress how ever much I want. I know God will provide as he always has. He keeps putting this situation in my face. It's what I'm meant to do....

~Amanda Kay